Are You Free to be Who You Truly Are?

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I am not the same person at 43 years old that I was when I was a child. Shocker, I know. Even though I know who I am now versus who I was then, It took me a very long time to be able to fully step into my new identity and actually claim it as my own.

Let me explain what I mean. When I was a young child I may have had a reputation of being bossy (I prefer to look at it as emerging leadership skills). When I was a teenager I had a bit of a wild streak. And as a new mom, I had moments of frustration where I yelled a little too much.

As I began to get older, I recognized areas in my life where growth and change were needed. I started discovering new ways of being that helped me find my center. I took the opportunity to break generational traumas and find new ways of dealing with things that did not result in slipping back into toxic behaviors. I found my happy spot!

This all sounds great, so what’s the problem? The problem was that even though I knew I was a different person the people in my life refused to see me as a different person and without their acknowledgement, validation and permission, I did not feel as if I could claim this new version of myself. I felt as if I was trapped inside their old version of me.

I spent so many years hoping that others would notice how much I had changed for the better. Instead of choosing to spend my time enjoying this new upgraded version of me in a state of “being” where I would experience feelings of peace and calm, I chose to focus my efforts on approval for activity based efforts designed to validate the “new me”.

My life was moving from one activity to the next hoping it would be the thing I needed to finally receive the approval or permission needed to claim my new identity as this very centered and grounded person who looks at things with reason and compassion. Here is where I am going to let you in on a second secret……the approval never came. Again, shocker, I know. But here’s a twist I bet you never saw coming, the approval was never needed. Gasp!

It was only until I stopped searching for permission and sat in silence did I finally find the truth. I am a very centered and grounded person who looks at things with reason and compassion because I say I am and not because someone else gave me permission! It seems ludicrous to think that we feel as if we need someone else’s validation to be who we truly are yet how many of us fall victim to this thought pattern? And it’s just that, a thought with no basis in actual fact.

We get to choose who we want to be, and we have the right to make changes at any time without anyone’s permission. You get to determine who you are to the world and to yourself dear friend. Take ownership of who you are and be whatever version of yourself that you desire to be because the world is yours for the taking. Be well..